• What's happening?

    From Ruben Figueroa@1:124/5015.5 to ll on Sat Sep 1 00:00:00 2018
    Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not been
    here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old daugher who
    keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?


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  • From Bill McGarrity@1:266/404 to Ruben Figueroa on Sat Sep 1 17:50:00 2018
    Ruben Figueroa wrote to ll on 09-01-18 00:00 <=-

    Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not
    been here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old
    daugher who keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?

    Handcuffs.... :)



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  • From Nick Mackechnie@3:772/210 to Ruben Figueroa on Tue Sep 4 21:14:00 2018
    Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not been
    here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old daugher who
    keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?

    No useful advice :-)

    Nick

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  • From Nick Mackechnie@3:772/210 to Ruben Figueroa on Tue Sep 4 21:14:00 2018
    Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not been
    here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old daugher who
    keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?

    No useful advice :-)

    Nick

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    * Origin: The Trashcan - The BEST rubbish * bbs.thenet.gen.nz (3:772/210)
  • From Jeff Smith@1:282/1031 to Ruben Figueroa on Tue Sep 4 12:45:40 2018
    Hello Ruben,

    Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not been
    here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old daugher who keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?

    At some point a parent has to allow their son/daughter to make their own decisions. Those decisions may be either for the better or for the worse. One can only hope that you as a parent have instilled in them the ability to listen
    to those that care about them and to consider what advice they are given. As an adult the actual decision needs to be theirs. I realize that this isn't the advise that you were wanting to hear. I would submit that what is important is that they know and believe that regardless of their decision that you as a parent will be there for them if needed. Children seem to learn best by doing. Regardless of the outcome of that doing process.

    Just my thought on the subject.


    Jeff


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  • From NANCY BACKUS@1:123/140 to RUBEN FIGUEROA on Wed Sep 5 13:47:00 2018
    Quoting Ruben Figueroa to Ll on 09-01-18 00:00 <=-

    Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not
    been here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old
    daugher who keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?

    Is she living at home still...?

    Lots of things can play into situations like this... my son finally
    figured out how to manage his money better when he was off on his own...
    but sometimes that doesn't work, either...

    ttyl neb

    ... Weeds! No, that is my vineyard! Ever heard of dandelion wine?

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  • From Ruben Figueroa@1:124/5015.5 to ill McGarrity on Sat Sep 1 00:00:00 2018
    # RF> Just checking in to see what is on going on in this echo. Have not
    # RF> been here in a while. Anyone got advice on dealing with 20yr old
    # RF> daugher who keeps spending all her pay check and saves nothing?
    #
    # Handcuffs.... :)

    I like that idea, but I can see the fault in that logic (;-0


    --- GTMail 1.26
    * Origin: GTPower Prison BBS Mesquite Tx (1:124/5015.5)
  • From Ruben Figueroa@1:124/5015.5 to eff Smith on Wed Sep 5 00:00:00 2018
    # At some point a parent has to allow their son/daughter to make their own
    # decisions. Those decisions may be either for the better or for the worse. One # can only hope that you as a parent have instilled in them the ability to
    # listen
    # to those that care about them and to consider what advice they are given. A # an adult the actual decision needs to be theirs. I realize that this isn't th # advise that you were wanting to hear. I would submit that what is important i # that they know and believe that regardless of their decision that you as a
    # parent will be there for them if needed. Children seem to learn best by doing # Regardless of the outcome of that doing process.

    I suspect that you are right, it is what I've been thinking, but it is
    hard as hell to get out of this protective mode I've been in for a very
    long time. Thanks.


    --- GTMail 1.26
    * Origin: GTPower Prison BBS Mesquite Tx (1:124/5015.5)
  • From Ruben Figueroa@1:124/5015.5 to ANCY BACKUS on Wed Sep 5 00:00:00 2018
    # Is she living at home still...?
    #
    # Lots of things can play into situations like this... my son finally
    # figured out how to manage his money better when he was off on his own...
    # but sometimes that doesn't work, either...

    She is now, she was managing her money with her room mate to pay for food
    and other stuff, not sure how much she contributed to that situation. Now
    I have encouraged her to put away funds for when she will need them instad
    of willy nilly spending. But like someone else already stated the best
    lessons learned are those you learn on your own.

    Thanks Nancy,


    --- GTMail 1.26
    * Origin: GTPower Prison BBS Mesquite Tx (1:124/5015.5)
  • From NANCY BACKUS@1:123/140 to RUBEN FIGUEROA on Wed Sep 12 21:04:00 2018
    Quoting Ruben Figueroa to Ancy Backus on 09-05-18 00:00 <=-

    # Is she living at home still...?
    # Lots of things can play into situations like this... my son finally
    # figured out how to manage his money better when he was off on his
    # own... but sometimes that doesn't work, either...

    She is now, she was managing her money with her room mate to pay for
    food and other stuff, not sure how much she contributed to that
    situation. Now I have encouraged her to put away funds for when she
    will need them instead of willy nilly spending. But like someone else already stated the best lessons learned are those you learn on your
    own.

    That usually is the case.... One can't really dictate to adult children
    what to do, one can only advise.... I've heard of parents that decided
    to charge their adult child rent... and then put that into a savings
    account for them for later.... but that wouldn't necessarily teach her
    the real lesson of doing that for herself.... just be a form of enforced savings... that she'd not know about until later....

    ttyl neb

    ... Poetic justice is when your children have teenagers of their own.

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  • From Jeff Smith@1:282/1031 to Ruben Figueroa on Sun Sep 9 11:28:54 2018
    Hello Ruben,

    # I would submit that what is important
    # that they know and believe that regardless of their decision that you as a # parent will be there for them if needed. Children seem to learn best by
    # doing. Regardless of the outcome of that doing process.

    I suspect that you are right, it is what I've been thinking, but it is
    hard as hell to get out of this protective mode I've been in for a very
    long time. Thanks.

    Trust me... A parent never really gets out of that protective mode. My kids are
    grown and parents themselves. And I still feel the urge to try to protect them.



    Jeff

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  • From Charles Stephenson@1:216/16 to Jeff Smith on Thu Nov 15 07:51:43 2018
    On 09/09/18, Jeff Smith said the following...

    Trust me... A parent never really gets out of that protective mode. My kids are grown and parents themselves. And I still feel the urge to try
    to protect them.



    Agreed....then you have the added 'bonus' to feel that way about your grandkids. Swear... wish there was a mental pill for Dad-Stress! :(

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  • From Adam Dietrick@1:2320/105 to Ruben Figueroa on Fri Oct 13 08:31:49 2023
    Re: What's happening?
    By: Ruben Figueroa to ll on Fri Aug 31 2018 23:00:00

    It's tough. I have one who is 21, she is running her own life. The best you can do is sit her down and have a heart to heart about it. Tell her that you are concerned about her not having a nest egg/safety net. But from her perspective, it is tough starting out. When you are young, you usually don't have much and need to buy a lot more than someone 20 years older who has already got most of their needs satisfied.
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  • From Ruben Figueroa@1:124/5014.5 to Adam Dietrick on Fri Oct 13 16:40:41 2023
    Re: What's happening?
    By: Ruben Figueroa to ll on Fri Aug 31 2018 23:00:00

    It's tough. I have one who is 21, she is running her own life. The best you can
    do is sit her down and have a heart to heart about it. Tell her that you are
    concerned about her not having a nest egg/safety net. But from her perspective,
    it is tough starting out. When you are young, you usually don't have much and
    need to buy a lot more than someone 20 years older who has already got most of
    their needs satisfied.
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)

    Thanks for the sage counsel.

    - Ruben Figueroa - Prison Board BBS

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  • From Ruben Figueroa@1:124/5014.5 to Adam Dietrick on Fri Oct 13 17:11:02 2023
    Re: What's happening?
    By: Ruben Figueroa to ll on Fri Aug 31 2018 23:00:00

    It's tough. I have one who is 21, she is running her own life. The best you can
    do is sit her down and have a heart to heart about it. Tell her that you are
    concerned about her not having a nest egg/safety net. But from her perspective,
    it is tough starting out. When you are young, you usually don't have much and
    need to buy a lot more than someone 20 years older who has already got most of
    their needs satisfied.
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
    * Origin: capitolcityonline.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/HTTP (1:2320/105)

    Thanks

    - Ruben Figueroa - Prison Board BBS

    ... After we pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

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  • From Michael Goodwind@1:229/317 to Adam Dietrick on Tue Oct 24 22:09:40 2023
    It's tough. I have one who is 21, she is running her own life. The best you can do is sit her down and have a heart to heart about it. Tell her that you are concerned about her not having a nest egg/safety net. But

    That's a tough conversation to have with a 21 year old. Even though it was
    22 years ago for me I can still close my eyes and go back to that time and if
    I had to give myself advice that I thought I would listen to it would
    probably be about taking more risks and having way less patience for things that made me unhappy.

    But the nest egg stuff I figure was what my 30's was for with my 20s being
    the time to take some big bets on life with business and travel. That being said, I didn't have my first child until I was 41 so not having that responsibility afforded me the luxury to take those risks that others
    wouldn't have had.

    I like to think things turned out relatively well for me and it boiled down
    to pursuing what I was most passionate with as much intensity and
    perseverance possible. That would be the sit down's I'd have with my 20 year old self, the whole you can do anything you set your mind to spiel.

    I also get that my childhood set me up to believe in this kind of thing and that's a privilege others might not have.

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